Question:
You stated that at some point your god quit working for you and you were screwed. What did you mean by that?
Answer:
I would like to emphasize that alcoholism and drug addiction are 1) the same and 2), a spiritual disease; at least in my opinion. What I mean by that is it's a spiritual act of worship. You may not read that in a book, this is my view on it.
The feeling that you get when you use is, in all senses of the word, a spiritual feeling. It allowed me to feel at ease with myself and the world around me. It was this peace that I was seeking. For a long time in my life I felt inadequate. Alcohol and drugs made me feel okay, like I measured up for once in my life. So, with this being the base, it set the stage to use every day. Using every day was an act of worship. I worshiped as often as possible. Does this make sense? It was my God. It did for me what I could not do for myself. If you were to compare me to someone that went to church, someone who was a sold out Christ follower, outside of the negative consequences that I had to face, we were very much the same.
If you've been to church you have heard it said that you should give a tithe, a tenth, of your income to God. That is normal. Most Christ followers believe that. That is different than my god alcohol. He demands everything. No cost was too great, no price to high. Because of my faith that this god was going to work for me, I would freely give everything. I believed that he would give me what I so desperately needed and wanted; his peace. That's what I was searching for. However fleeting it was, I had to have it. I have found that this is exactly what God gives me today without all the negative consequences. Just to be at peace with myself and the world around me. That's what I wanted. That's what I believe everyone needs and, to some degree or another, is searching for.
Pressing on with Excellence,
Keith
Dr. Worry
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