Interview with an Alcoholic part 4

Question:
I want to play with your words for just a moment. You said that your addiction was a spiritual feeling. Behaviorally, I cannot observe "spiritual", but I can quazi-observe "feeling". In my world, that is a sensory activity. Which means if it feels, tastes, smells, looks, or sounds good, we do it and if it doesn't feel, taste, smell, look, or sound good, then we don't do it. For a very simplistic example, if I eat chocolate it is because I like the taste, smell, or feeling it gives me. On the other hand, I can't stand the taste, smell, or sight of black liquorice. I will not enjoy any aspect of it, so I avoid it. So a spiritual feeling...do you mean that when you had it, you liked it so you wanted it more and more or did you use it to escape from the reality or stresses of life?
Answer:
When I talk about a spiritual feeling, what I'm saying is its a euphoric feeling of great satisfaction. I don't know if you know God, but if you could imagine the creator of the earth reaching down and scooping you up and giving you a big hug and kiss on your head, then just holding you and telling you that he's proud of you. Probably like that of a child whose father does that to him. As a child when your dad is there, you don't worry about anything. You know everything is already taken care of. It's true peace of mind. More like everything is going to be okay. Does that help? So you can see why it is so enticing to keep going back to it again and again.

Pressing on with Excellence,
Keith
Dr. Worry

Interview with an Alcoholic part 3

Question:

You stated that at some point your god quit working for you and you were screwed. What did you mean by that?

Answer:

I would like to emphasize that alcoholism and drug addiction are 1) the same and 2), a spiritual disease; at least in my opinion. What I mean by that is it's a spiritual act of worship. You may not read that in a book, this is my view on it.
The feeling that you get when you use is, in all senses of the word, a spiritual feeling. It allowed me to feel at ease with myself and the world around me. It was this peace that I was seeking. For a long time in my life I felt inadequate. Alcohol and drugs made me feel okay, like I measured up for once in my life. So, with this being the base, it set the stage to use every day. Using every day was an act of worship. I worshiped as often as possible. Does this make sense? It was my God. It did for me what I could not do for myself. If you were to compare me to someone that went to church, someone who was a sold out Christ follower, outside of the negative consequences that I had to face, we were very much the same.
If you've been to church you have heard it said that you should give a tithe, a tenth, of your income to God. That is normal. Most Christ followers believe that. That is different than my god alcohol. He demands everything. No cost was too great, no price to high. Because of my faith that this god was going to work for me, I would freely give everything. I believed that he would give me what I so desperately needed and wanted; his peace. That's what I was searching for. However fleeting it was, I had to have it. I have found that this is exactly what God gives me today without all the negative consequences. Just to be at peace with myself and the world around me. That's what I wanted. That's what I believe everyone needs and, to some degree or another, is searching for.

Pressing on with Excellence,
Keith
Dr. Worry

Interview with An Alcoholic part 2

Question:

I have heard from so many that they had to hit rock bottom, which it
sounded like you did as well, before they decided to change their
behaviors/lives and leave the addiction. What do you think has to be
the starting point for recovery? Does every person have to hit their
own rock bottom? If I am trying to help someone and I feel they
haven't hit that bottom, what can be done to stop their addictive
behavior? As you can imagine, some folks who get to that point where
you were when you wanted to die and follow through with suicide. I
view "rock bottoms" as a dangerous area. When someone can pick
themselves up and start the process to a new life that is encouraging. But others view their rock bottom as nothing more than an opportunity to end their lives. In my line of work, any suicidal ideation is taken seriously and usually ends up in hospitalizations and medications. I try to avoid those when possible.

You stated that at some point your god quit working for you and you
were screwed. What did you mean by that? Pretend that one year before your decision to become sober, you were approached by someone like me offering help. If you hadn't gotten to your point of desperation yet, would you have accepted the help? What could have been done to convince you sooner to get sober?

Answer:

You asked if someone would have approached me one year prior to quitting if I would have considered it. I would not have considered it. The truth is, I was approached by the police with the threat of jail if I ignored them. Also, there were countless attempts by my parents to intervene.

Pressing On with Excellence,
Keith
Dr. Worry

Interview with an Alcoholic part 1

INTERVIEWER: I work as a behavior analyst, which is someone who helps others change their behaviors, and I have been contemplating the challenges of drug and alcohol addictions. I personally have never tried any drugs and I am not an alcoholic, but I want to help those who may be struggling with these challenges. I tend to view addictions in terms of only behaviors and then create ways to overcome those behaviors.


QUESTIONS

1) How did you do it? What made you decide nearly 20 years ago to leave the life you knew and set a course for this one?

2) What do you believe needs to be the catalyst to shake up addicts and live a more purposeful life?

ANSWER

First of all I did it one day at a time. I didn't just wake up one day and decide that I was going to quit and set a goal of 20yrs. When I quit I was so close to death. In fact I wanted to die. The thought went through my head that if this is all that life has to offer then I want out. For me alcohol and drugs were my god and my god had my full trust. So it is a spiritual thing more than behavioral. When my god quit working for me I was screwed. I would say that I was blessed to be given the gift of desperation. It was out of desperation that I became willing to do some things. One thing was to get honest with myself. The second thing this desperation helped me to do was become open-minded enough to think there might be a better way. HOW – Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness is an easy acronym to remember this.

For those out there who know someone who is suffering from addiction: I believe the prayers of those who cared about me was a big factor in helping me. In my case, it took an average of 15 people praying for approximately 3 years before I got desperate enough to get sober.

Pressing On with Excellence,
Keith
Dr. Worry

Introduction to Interview with an Alcoholic

I am getting ready to start a new blog idea. I have someone that knows little about addiction at least from a thought process side, such as what causes an alcoholic or an addict to continue to keep going back even after things get bad. So he is going to ask me questions and I will answer them. Then I will share that interview on my blog. I think that this is a great opportunity to help him better understand the alcoholic mind and also help others do the same. I also think this will help me to better understand myself. It will help me to crystallize my story so that I'm a better communicator. Win-win, I believe. I told him my life is an open book and that I would answer any question that he might ask. Along with that I have decided if any of my blog readers have any questions that you might like to ask concerning addiction or if you need any clarity on something that I give for an answer, please comment on the blog or submit any question to me at Keith@drworry.com. I am looking forward to this interview. This will be an ongoing topic for a while or until he or you run out of questions. I won't give any answers about things that I don't know anything about. This is a living interview, not an opinion. My experiences, no bull.

Pressing On with Excellence,

Keith a.k.a. Dr. Worry