Fake it till you make it

Now that I had a sponsor or mentor and a written inventory, I
was entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. After sharing
my liabilities and assets with God and someone else, I saw some patterns in my
thinking which caused me to act a certain way.

My beliefs about things, whether true or not, decided the
action I would take which could either be good or bad depending on the
situation. One thing I found out was that I couldn't change anything by myself.
It was similar to when I realized that I was powerless. It was as if I had no
power no matter how much I wished I did. I could quit doing some things, but I couldn't do it all. Here I was supposed to be entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character. I had asked him to, but he didn't and I kept doing the
same things over and over again wishing that I wouldn't. Some days it seemed
that God would indeed remove them. But other days, I failed miserably. God
could remove them but was there something I could do? I believe there is.

The only way to have real lasting change is to change your
thinking. I could act as if God had already answered my prayers. Isn't that
real faith? Fake it till you make it. Act as if that defect of character has
been removed by concentrating on doing the opposite. For example, if I believe
that God has removed fear then I will practice trust. If I struggle with
selfishness then I will practice thinking of others. If I struggle with pride,
then I will practice unconditional love.

"Fake it till you make it" is faith in action.

Pushing towards excellence.

Keith

The Scariest Place to Be

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood, I shouldn't go in there alone.

Step 5 in AA is admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. For this step we will need a sponsor or a spiritual advisor to talk to. When it comes to revealing yourself totally to someone else that can seem pretty frightening. It was for me, but I knew if I didn't do it I would drink again. The thing is, if I would have let myself off the hook, I believe I would have suffered the consequences of half-hearted efforts. You truly reap what you sow and this way is difficult sometimes. But I believe it to be the easier, softer way when you compare it to the way I was living before.

When I forced myself to open up, my sponsor was kind and loving and forgiving. I thought he might think lesser of me because of my past, but he wasn't judgmental and he shared with me some of his experiences from the past. When I left I felt like a ton of weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I think that sharing things about my life was a test from God just to see if I was really willing to do whatever it took to be sober. When it was over, I had the same feeling you feel when you ace a test.

Pushing Towards Excellence

Keith

Weird But Wise

How do you pick someone to be a sponsor, discipler, or mentor? First, I would say you want to pick someone you want to be like and someone that is more spiritually mature than you. When I first got sober I picked a guy that laughed a lot because I wanted to have fun. I didn't think I could be sober and have fun at the same time. Over time, distance, from moving, forced me to find someone else. That is good though, because it stretches you even further. One person can only take you so far so you need others to come into your life and push you to greater and greater things.

My sponsor used to say weird things to me. One time when I was having a problem with a co-worker he told me, Keith, I want you to go out of your way to be nice to her and help her out. Another time he told me, Keith, for one month nobody's wrong; even if they're wrong, they're not wrong. He also told me things like, you can't think your way into right living. You have to act your way into right thinking. Action, action, action. Go through the motion, the emotion will follow. He also told me happiness is a by-product of good living.

Weird but wise.

Keith
Pushing Toward Excellence

P.S. Pray for the tsunami victims and for Japan.

The Sharpening

I would like to write about accountability. Why is it important? There was a study done on horses. One horse by himself could pull 2,500 pounds. They repeated the test with two horses and together they were able to pull 12,500 pounds. That’s five times as much as by themselves. I think the same holds true for people. Not by strapping them to a weight, but by strapping them together by accountability.

I know if I talk to someone about a problem I’m having, for some reason I’m able to think a little clearer. Especially when that problem rises again. It is easier to let go and not do the wrong thing if I know I’m going to have to tell someone about it.

What if you knew a person was going to specifically ask you about a character defect or ask how you were doing on being kind, loving, and generous? Don’t you think that has the possibility to change the way you act? Proverbs 27:17 says that as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another. This is true. Although it might seem scary to share some or all of your innermost thoughts with someone, it will help you to become the man or woman that God wants you to be and it happens a lot faster than trying to do it on your own. A problem shared is a problem cut in half.

Pushing towards excellence.

Keith