The Scariest Place to Be

My mind is a dangerous neighborhood, I shouldn't go in there alone.

Step 5 in AA is admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. For this step we will need a sponsor or a spiritual advisor to talk to. When it comes to revealing yourself totally to someone else that can seem pretty frightening. It was for me, but I knew if I didn't do it I would drink again. The thing is, if I would have let myself off the hook, I believe I would have suffered the consequences of half-hearted efforts. You truly reap what you sow and this way is difficult sometimes. But I believe it to be the easier, softer way when you compare it to the way I was living before.

When I forced myself to open up, my sponsor was kind and loving and forgiving. I thought he might think lesser of me because of my past, but he wasn't judgmental and he shared with me some of his experiences from the past. When I left I felt like a ton of weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I think that sharing things about my life was a test from God just to see if I was really willing to do whatever it took to be sober. When it was over, I had the same feeling you feel when you ace a test.

Pushing Towards Excellence

Keith